3 Ways to Help Kids Be More Helpful and Less Entitled This Holiday Break

Camryn-MomBrain

Hi Friends,

At MomBrain, we know the holidays can be a magical time—but they can also bring challenges like managing kids' expectations and encouraging a spirit of helpfulness. That’s why we’re thrilled to highlight Flora McCormick, a licensed counselor and Parent Coach and one of the incredible experts in our community.

Flora shares practical strategies to help parents raise kids who are more helpful and less “entitled” during the holidays. Here’s a sneak peek at her advice:

Privilege + Responsibility = Appreciation
Teach kids that responsibility comes before privilege. When they have a sense of responsibility, they’re more likely to appreciate the rewards that come with it.
Consider this simple equation—privilege without responsibility = entitlement. So helping kids to have a sense of how their responsible actions lead to their privileges helps kids develop gratitude and an understanding of how to contribute to the family and world around them.
Incorporate chores into your plans for the new Year: As we pivot into 2025, it's a great time to agree with your partner on some age-appropriate chores you'd like to have the kids help with this year. Assigning small, age-appropriate tasks helps children feel a sense of significance and belonging in the family and we know from child psychologist Alfred Adler and child psychiatrist Rudolf Dreikers these are two central needs in childhood!
And tie those chores to the privileges they have: ie. “When your room is clean, then you can go to your friend's house,” or “When you’ve helped with the chores, then we can watch a show.” It's like being sure we eat our dinner before dessert. If we allow kids to have any privilege they want, and then hope they will be helpful AFTER...it's like saying, "Sure. Have dessert first, but I still expect you to eat dinner." It's likely setting you up for failure.
Less Is More
It’s easy to go overboard during the holidays with toys, gadgets, and gifts. But studies show that excess can backfire, leaving kids overstimulated and irritable.
Consider fewer, more meaningful gifts: Fewer gifts lead to more thoughtful play and better emotional balance.
Clean out before Christmas: Help kids donate old toys they no longer use to families in need. This fosters a sense of gratitude and understanding of giving.
Preemptively clear space: Before the holiday rush, remove items that have been gathering dust. Not only does this make room for new gifts, but it also teaches kids that material possessions are not endless.
Make It Clear: Teach Them How to Help

If you want your kids to be more helpful this holiday season, it’s important to provide clear guidance on what that looks like. Sometimes, they may not know how to offer help unless we teach them.
Use simple phrases: Instead of expecting kids to automatically see when help is needed, teach them a simple script. “Honey, when you see others unloading the car/dishwasher/etc, I'd like you to say, "How can I help?” This script gives them a clear, actionable way to contribute.
Make expectations explicit: For example, if you're unloading groceries, say, “I need your help to bring in the bags. What can you carry?” Or if they see someone struggling with a task, encourage them to ask, “How can I help?”
Praise positive efforts: When they use the phrase or step in to help, be sure to offer positive reinforcement. As my favorite mentor Dr. John Sommers-Flanagan says, "What gets noticed, gets repeated."
By making your expectations clear and providing kids with simple tools to be helpful, you empower them to take initiative and feel proud of their contributions.

Flora’s expertise as a Parenting Coach is just one example of the kind of guidance you’ll find on MomBrain. You can tag her in your questions, visit her profile for personalized advice or learn more about Sustainable Parenting.

At MomBrain, we’re here to make motherhood—and the holidays—more joyful and less overwhelming.