MomBrain does not have to rummage deeply into her purse to find the Universal Translator. This is because she uses it so frequently.
Dr. Science: My tendency to sneeze increases when I’m at home.
MomBrain: Maybe you’re allergic to the cats.
Dr. Science: That’s a hypothesis I haven’t tested properly.
MomBrain: Maybe it’s the cats. Maybe you should test them.
Dr. Science: Perhaps. But I need an independent variable.
MomBrain: The cats are independent.
Dr. Science: Yes, but they are not independent variables.
MomBrain: But their moods are variable. I mean, they’re fickle. So the cats are independent and variable, right?
Dr. Science: Yes. No. Yes. But no.
Dr. Science: YES.
A giant bag of mystery.
Because ONLY ONE CUP.
Here at MomBrain HQ, we keep things simple. Short sentences. Pretty pictures. Light and airy spaces. Chocolate chip cookies are in the oven, and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air.
Wait – that is not coffee. It is Dr. Science, whose coffee intake can be measured only with extremely advanced Scientific Tools. But Dr. Science is no connoisseur. Any caffeine wrapped in a bean will do, unless we are in another country. That is because foreign coffee is too scary. So wherever we travel, we must be able to see Starbucks. Even in Canada, the 51st state, Starbucks is the only safe option for Dr. Science’s extreme caffeine needs.
MomBrain: How about the free breakfast in the hotel lobby?
Dr. Science: Meh.
MomBrain: How about the cute little café on the corner?
Dr. Science: Meh.
MomBrain: How about breakfast at Starbucks?
Dr. Science: SURE!
So yes – Dr. Science smells like coffee. But this is better than smelling like hotel soap, or airplanes, or poutine. And the best part is MomBrain is never homesick. Because no matter where we are, no matter what time zone or country, Dr. Science smells like home.