MomBrain does not have to rummage deeply into her purse to find the Universal Translator. This is because she uses it so frequently.

Dr. Science: My tendency to sneeze increases when I’m at home.

MomBrain: Maybe you’re allergic to the cats.

Dr. Science: That’s a hypothesis I haven’t tested properly.

MomBrain: Maybe it’s the cats. Maybe you should test them.

Dr. Science: Perhaps. But I need an independent variable.

MomBrain: The cats are independent.

Dr. Science: Yes, but they are not independent variables.

MomBrain: But their moods are variable. I mean, they’re fickle. So the cats are independent and variable, right?

Dr. Science: Yes. No. Yes. But no.

MomBrain: Coffee?

Dr. Science: YES.

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