In which MomBrain descends into the fiery pit and emerges as a bird of a whole nuther feather …

I have been blogging as MomBrain since 2003, embarrassing my family with some success and myself with even more. But it’s time for MomBrain to write about something else. For one thing, I’m finally emerging from the Baby Blur of those first six years. The total immersion experience of early motherhood is nearly over, and I’m beyond ready to reclaim my old life. For another, the Little Guy is now the Medium Guy, and I need to respect his growing self-awareness. I mean, it’s one thing to write about your toddler’s constipated bathroom antics. But when your baby is big enough to wear your socks, it’s time to redraw the boundaries of what you say in public. Besides, he can read now.

All this to say that while MomBrain will continue, you’ll be reading less about the Little Guy and maybe a little more about … um … I don’t know yet. But the winds of change, they are a-blowin’ …

Today’s Skippy Moment is brought to you by Laurie Mika, whose tile mosaics make me breathe deeply and yelp at the same time.

PunditMom has issued a challenge. She writes “The term mommy blogger, for some, has a stigma and conjures an image of a woman in stained sweats, a couple of toddlers in tow, using a blog as a journal of her daily toils and troubles. What if we came up with some phrases that more accurately describe what tens of thousands of us are doing here in cyberspace — trying to harness the power of social networking for business and political purposes.”

She suggests moving away from the word “mommy” and more toward words like “mother” or “maternal.” I dunno. Is it really the word “mommy” that’s inaccurate? Or is it society’s assumptions that are wrong? I admit, I feel the stigma, too – it’s the same icky feeling of going to a party and telling someone you’re “just a mom.” And even if you finesse it — even if you say you’re a fulltime mom, or home with your kids, or that you work from home as a freelance writer and editor so you can spend more time with your kids — the listener still hears “just a mom.”

Your ideas?

Warning!!! Iceberg ahead!!! It seems that Blogger and Netfirms, MomBrain’s gracious host, are in the midst of an acrimonious divorce and no longer speak to one another. Updating is next to impossible. So over the next few days, MomBrain HQ will be moving out of the Blogger slum and into a waterfront TypePad condo. You, dear reader, should notice nothing except more frequent updates. But there may be a design hiccup here and there … so please, pardon our dust while we move.

MomBrain will be attempting more frequent updates in the next few weeks. Why, you ask? It’s simple: I want to test a theory. Sister K says more frequent updates = more readers. I say more frequent updates = more tired mommies who just don’t have time to read everything so they give up in despair (i.e. fewer readers). So let’s give it a try, shall we? (And while you’re holding your applause, please do feel free to throw twenty-dollar bills.)

In Other News … We have bid ciao to our charming Italian houseguest. In less than two weeks he has managed to line up an apartment, furniture, a bike, and a bank account – all in a country where the money, language, and food are completely foreign. I stand in awe.

My personal theory is that we chased him out with the coffee. American and Italian coffee are two different beasts entirely, and after his first polite cup of dishwater at MomBrain HQ he’s been allergic to everything but triple espressos at McStarbucks. Polite refusals don’t stop MomBrain, though – I make dishwater every morning for him, press it upon him, and pretend that it’s fine, just fine when he refuses.

So here’s the deal. When I blog a lot, I don’t write much. And when I write a lot, I don’t blog much. Blogging and writing draw from the same well, and unfortunately my well just doesn’t refresh that quickly.

Writer’s Digest interviewed me about MomBrain, which was heartily gratifying (check your newstand in June). But one of their questions really made me think: “Why are you giving it away on a blog when you could be selling it as a column?”

The short answer is: I ain’t no ho. I do it for love, not money. In 20 years of writing books, magazine articles, essays, and reviews I have only once seen a letter to the editor about something I wrote. And that was because I made a math error in a software review. Imagine it: Innocent, dimply-cheeked MomBrain added wrong, and a flood of pimply-faced geek boys broke the magazine record for letters when they checked my math. (Hello? Get a life!) Oh – and once I got a piece of hate mail that called me a “scum-sucking smut monger.” That one arrived at my home. Thanks for the feedback!

Apart from that, nada. Writing for publication is like shooting an arrow into a black hole: you have no idea where it lands or how it’s received, only that it doesn’t come back. A $500 check definitely eases the pain, but hey – there’s that ho thing. Just leave the money on the dresser, and use the back door please.

Blogging is entirely different. No money changes hands. But I get comments. E-mail. Links. I know where my posts land, and I know how they’re received. I have a much stronger connection with my readership – and isn’t that worth something? Blogging just earns a different kind of compensation than writing for publication.

I genuinely believe this. But the part I didn’t tell the interviewer is that I like money, too. Sometimes I want to put on my fishnet stockings and do a bump and grind for cash. Everything has a price, and in the last two weeks I’ve been selling it left and right. I am nothing but a Hoochie Mama, and that’s alright by me. For now.

Today’s NY Times Sunday Styles section features mom and dad bloggers, who evidently are quite the self-absorbed lot and mourn the the me-me-me-ness of our pre-baby adult lives. We are obscene narcissists struggling to rise above invisibility and to remind the world that we still exist. Oh, and our blogs are just a primal scream that expose the “dark underbelly” of parenting. To which I say … DUH. And your point would be?

Of course I am just jealous because the author didn’t profile MomBrain. So perhaps I am just exposing my own dark underbelly. But sheesh, since when is it bad to want to exist in the world, to be seen and known and loved? There is so much anti-parent bias in this article it makes me want to scream. Primally.

Or perhaps I just need a little less caffeine and a few more reminders of the joy of being isolated, invisible, and devalued. Oops – there’s that underbelly again. MomBrain really must be more careful.